There is a connection between thought and reality, which is rather like two objects connected by an elastic band. There is an invisible force that pulls your thoughts and your reality together. If you try to change one without changing the other, you stretch the elastic band and set up a kind of tension.
Whichever is stronger will affect the other. It is like a tug-of-war contest, and the strongest will win. If you have strong thoughts and beliefs, then your reality will be shaped by them. If your reality is stronger, it will shape your thoughts. Many people in the first group would be called leaders, who shape their life based on their dreams and vision, and move boldly forward. The other group would be those who are victims of their circumstances. They never seem to be able to make a success as much as they would like.
If you want to change your reality, change your thinking. You will experience the tension as the elastic band is stretched between your thoughts and reality. Then one of two things will happen: either your thoughts will revert back to their original pattern, or reality will change to conform with your new thinking.
Some thoughts and beliefs can be disempowering, and they weaken you. You have to examine the thoughts you have and see if they hold up. Hang on to the ones that are stronger.
One of the reasons goal setting and affirmations works is that it strengthens and reinforces your thoughts. It firmly establishes your thoughts and beliefs the way you want, so that reality has to eventually follow suit.
For example, people with fixed ways of thinking, will find it difficult to change their reality. If you have big dreams, and do not give up on your dreams, then they are likely to come true.
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